The Sadness of Casa by the Sea

To often at night do I lay in bed with my eyes open not wanting to close them. Why you ask. Let me explain, or at least try. One day I told my mom that I wanted to find myself. I wanted to get away and meet different people. We found a cheap boarding school (I thought) online that would take someone my age. I knew it was for troubled teens, but didn’t realize that they were who made you troubled. I didn’t want my mom to have to spend to much money on me, so I decided that I wanted to go there. I thought Ensenada, Mexico would be a wonderful place to stay for a while, and I figured it couldn’t be all that bad. I thought it was a place to better help my self-esteem. I came to find out that I was wrong.My first day at PV was pretty good I thought. Other than the fact that I got a really bad head ache and they wouldn’t give me anything for it. I got in trouble for laying down without asking. Luckily I did lay down though because the Mama couldn’t use the excuse that she forgot about me needing something for my headache again. If I hadden’t have got the aspirin when I did I would have ended up passing out on the floor. It was one of the worst headaches I had ever had, I was so sick I felt like I was going to puke. Everyday that I was there felt like a week. So the ten days I spent there felt more like 2 ½ months. They knew when I sighed up that I was very family oriented and they told me I would be able to talk to my mom within the first week I was there. What felt like weeks went by, and every day Ruben would say he forgot to grab an e-mail from my mom that he had on his desk. He knew that the e-mail would brighten my spirit and that is why he would not give it to me. The third d ay I was there I had to go to a seminar. Well it was my choice, but what they didn’t tell me when I sighed up to be there, was that I had to pass the seminar before I would be able to talk to my mom. So I went and I cried pretty much through the whole seminar. Trying to hide my tears from people who would ask me questions, and I couldn’t say anything to anyone without getting in trouble. For what I said was always wrong no matter what it was. The reason I cried was because the seminar guy was yelling at the kids in there, until it got to the point that they would almost hypervenalate. I gave up near the end of the seminar because for some reason they kept choosing to pick on me. If you got in trouble you had to stand up and hear some kids tell you what they thought was wrong with you. When they were done saying what they thought, they all would say agreed like some weird sort of cult. The last time they called me up I said, that was it and I wanted out, they asked if I wanted feedbac k and I said no. I had enough feedback there to last me a lifetime. Today that feed back has only made me more insure about myself and I spend most of my time in my house because of the depression it has caused me. It has been probably about a year in a half or two years since I was there and it still haunts me. I cry at night because I can’t help but think about the poor kids whose parents send them there for stupid reasons like saying NO to them once. Trust me it is true, I met the sweetest little girl there who I could tail from my past experience at high school that she was a big nerd who wouldn’t even think of sleeping around or doing drugs, or anything of the sort. She told me her parents sent her there for back talking.

Yes I do believe some kids need places like that, but I don’t believe that you have to yell at a child to get them to understand. Teaching a child that by yelling at them is the only way to get through to a person is wrong no matter how you look at it. Sorry about my writing see there was more than one reason why I went to PV. One of the other reason I went was to graduate high school. I had a low self esteem when I went and when I left it was even worse, so I still haven’t graduated. I am 20 years old today and don’t worry I eventually will graduate. Being there brought me way down, but I am working on helping my self get back up on my feet.