Dress code enforcement goes too far

Is it really that hard to learn in a tank top?

October 9th started as a normal school day. Students milled about, the bell rang, classes started. No one expected anything. Our drowsy peers sat at their desks, some with more diligence than others, ready for education.

The 100, 200, and 300 buildings, though, were in for a surprise. The monotony of a normal first hour was to be broken. Learning was to be temporarily set aside to make way for something far, far more important to the nation’s youth and their schooling: dress code enforcement.

Students were completely caught off guard. Administrators, security officers, and a bona fide police officer formed the dress code strike force, moving nearly silently toward their objective, intent on improving that quality of student life through the upholding of clothing law. They weren’t going to take this careless ignorance of policy anymore.

The short shorts had to go. Bare shoulders could no longer be tolerated. The backless shoe industry’s grip had to be loosened. Marjory Stoneman Douglas’ crack team of dress code specialists was going to do just that. And nothing was going to stop them from achieving their goal of an entirely acceptably clothed student body. It was far too important a task too fail, and those appointed to it were far too involved to allow themselves to do so.

They marched from room to room, interrupting class in the worthy name of proper attire, inspecting each student carefully. Our peers stood (arms to the side, fingertips well below the bottoms of shorts) warily as they were examined. Violators were removed and collectively placed in confinement. Their fellow students stared after them, fearing for them, wondering what would come next.

Those who broke the code were herded into the auditorium for the remainder of the school day. Fourteen students were subjected to the icy temperatures. These outlaws quickly learned that less than tolerable clothing results in a one day vacation to a climate with less than tolerable temperature. Nothing cruel or unusual about putting the least clothed students in the coldest rooms in the school at all.

Some look at the inspections (which will thankfully occur all year long, randomly!) in a negative light. Some find it disgusting that the dress code be considered important enough to halt the learning day.

“Education is important!” they say.
“Gestapo tactics,” they call this brilliant maneuver.
Obviously some people have their priorities skewed.â„¢
By Matt Tucker