17-year-old Hockey Player Goes to NHL

The government goes out of its way to make it seem like teenagers are kids and then treat them like idiots. Since prejudice doesn’t help win the Stanley Cup, this year the San Jose Sharks plan to recruit seventeen-year-old center David Legwand from the Ontario Hockey League. He has been compared to Mike Modano, Mike Gartner, and Maurice Richard.

Though he can hit harder than most NHL players, the US government still treats him like he is in a kiddy league. The government’s drinking restrictions will prevent him from toasting with his new teammates after the draft.

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